Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
