yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
