If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
