i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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