I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
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