It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
