The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
