I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
