Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
