shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
