You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
