I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
