I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i came on her dog
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
