I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
