just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
