When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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