so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
