just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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