I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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