where am i from again
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
