Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
