Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
