butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
