Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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