I want to stick my p in your. b.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
