Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
