So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
