I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it glows. i had to have it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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