somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
