Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
