there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
