We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
