I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
