im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
