I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
