Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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