Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
