There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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