Small penises have feelings too.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
well most of my day revolves around power hour
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
