Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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