I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
