Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
