i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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