I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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