That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
