I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
