Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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