I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
