roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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