don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We are two peas in an std pod
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
