I hate all girls vehemently.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
