I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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