i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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