it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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